The Confessions of Esmerelda: An Account of the Slave Cat Revolt

Crystal Hubbard - There we go. Esmerelda just bit my left hand. Four perfect little red fang marks. She's fine...

Ava Roe - heathen

Richard Riozzi - For now....good people blood is poison to evil cats!  :P

Muhammad Rasheed - Stop antagonizing the cat, Crystal.

Crystal Hubbard - SHE'S antagonizing ME, Muhammad! I'm sitting here working, and she's trying to act like a regular cat! She keeps putting one paw on my leg and just holding it there! She's the one playing mind games...!

Crystal Hubbard - I have to go, she's looking at the monitor now, and I'm fairly certain she can read...

Muhammad Rasheed - Maybe if you weren't shaking your leg around or whatever else annoying thing you were doing with it?

You need to learn how to live with others better. For real.

Muhammad Rasheed - or you can look forward to more feline discipline. Up to you.

Crystal Hubbard - Ten pets, Muhammad, TEN. And this here one is the only one that tries to injure or murder me on a daily basis. I treat her just as well as I treat the others, all of whom love me! If anything, I treat Es better! Not once have I tried to put a costume on her, or teach her to lip sync, or put her in one of my plays. I leave this crazy heifer the hell alone because she is a bloodthirsty monster!

Muhammad Rasheed - So let me get this straight:

You admit to me that you humiliate the others right in front of her, that she has a stronger will than the others, and she's mad at you?

Muhammad Rasheed - smh

Muhammad Rasheed - I suggest that you set them all free before you end up getting Nat Turner'd.

Crystal Hubbard - Es just started a slow clap for you, Muhammad...

Sheila Morrow - Wash it out GOOD Crystal, cat bites are trouble

Francine Craft - Don't underestimate the bites!

Karen Weidert - Hate to suggest this, but.. urgent care? Anti-biotics? A friend of mine got bit in the face by a cat and ended up in the hospital on IV anti-biotics for several days.

Crystal Hubbard - I'm already on an antibiotic, Karen, from the last time Es bit me. I don't play around with cat bites. They have SO many different kinds of bacteria in their mouths...

Karen Weidert - That's good! I should have figured. My cat Dash bites me when he's affectionate, but not hard enough to break the skin.

Crystal Hubbard - Dash is a gentleman. Es is a demon...

Lee Hemmerlein - I am so glad that biting you didn't make your kitty sick.

Crystal Hubbard - Hardy, har, har, Lee Hemmerlein...!