Friday, July 15, 2016

The Interview

INTERVIEWER: Why did you kill the prophet Balaam (peace be upon him)?

YOU: HIM?! Because he was an asshole! (pardon my French) He hit that donkey!

INTERVIEWER: Why did he hit the donkey?

YOU: Because it was acting scared, and didn't want to go in the direction prophet asshole wanted.

INTERVIEWER: Why was it acting scared?

YOU: Because the angel of the Lord showed himself.

INTERVIEWER: The donkey was reacting to the sight of the angel?

YOU: Yes.

INTERVIEWER: Balaam didn't see the angel?

YOU: Well... no. Not yet.

INTERVIEWER: What did Balaam do when he DID see it?

YOU:  He prostrated himself.

INTERVIEWER: So the very second Balaam saw the messenger of the Lord thy God, he IMMEDIATELY fell on his face in submission? lol

YOU: Yeah.

INTERVIEWER: In fact, the entire Old Testament account of Balaam's story demonstrates that, in addition to his impressive powers of second sight [interviewee's face frowns & reddens], he always did exactly what the Lord thy God commanded of him. Balaam was definitely, and objectively, a true prophet of God.  So, why did you kill him again?

YOU: I can't have a conversation with an Anti-Semite! This interview is over! Spew your filth elsewhere, asshole!


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