Thursday, April 30, 2015

HeroTalk: Master Spy Files



Red Skew - Go to bed!

MRasheed - It's 8:40am. I just got to work.

YOU go to bed.

Red Skew - Where are you?

Japan?

MRasheed - I'm in Kuwait.

Red Skew - Oh shit. Well Good Morning to you sir. Ha!

MRasheed - Thanks.

What time is it in CA?

Red Skew - 10:40PM

MRasheed - Yeah, YOU go to bed.

Red Skew - Believe me. I am soon. Got to work early.

I'm an old man.

Muhammad Rasheed - Are you following that Karl Eburne thread?

Red Skew - Nah, whats going on?

MRasheed - Here, read this... [Karl Eburne - dossier]

MRasheed - That's the beginning of a long and interesting thread discussion.

Red Skew - Uh oh, that would start something.

MRasheed - I wanted to ask you to copy/paste whatever JR posted in it in this PM, because I can't read him. He's invisible since he blocked me awhile ago.

Red Skew - JR blocked me for a while because I posted about Bill Maher, but then he was back a few days later. Not sure if I'm blocked again.

MRasheed - He blocked me in '08 or '09.

I was nice in those days. lol

At least on FB.

Red Skew - Oh, mine was more recent.

I think I"m very nice on FB in the face outright bigots.

MRasheed - I know he was still mad at me for daring to point out that Jews sometimes do things that are wrong.

Red Skew - Y'know how that goes.

MRasheed - Apparently that means I'm an anti-Semite for not being willing to pretend they are eternally squeaky clean no matter what.

The crazy part is that I was actually talking about a notorious gangster. lol

Red Skew - I know. I got blasted for attacking Bibi Netanyahu.

MRasheed - "Wait... so I can't point out that a notorious murderous gangster happened to be Jewish (and VERY pro-Israel) without being labeled an anti-Semi--!"

*BLOCK*

Red Skew - I'd block your Jew hating ass too!!!!

MRasheed - Calm down!!

Red Skew - Sarcasm for the NSA if you're reading this.

MRasheed - lol Anyway, he said something in Karl's thread that some people consider very insightful, and I want to see it.

MRasheed - Scroll through that thread of Karl's for me and copy/paste what JR said, please.

Red Skew - My ex father in law was NSA, and he used to swear that they didn't listen in on Americans. I knew he was lying then.

Okay, hold on.

Red Skew - Sorry the link is saying content in unavailable.

MRasheed - Karl's not a friend of yours...?

Red Skew - Nope.

Red Skew - Dont know him from Mshindo.

MRasheed - ???

Are you a commie?

MRasheed - Wait... you are.



Red Skew - Marxist.

Dont label me with that Lenin shit.

MRasheed - Psh. Whatever. lol

Red Skew - Ha!

MRasheed - See if you can find the thread by lurking on his Timeline.

Red Skew - Okay I'll go lurk.

Red Skew - I'm on his page, but it only allows me to see his latest post. Not the one you're referencing.

MRasheed - Send Karl a friend request, please. Were you really just going to stop right there? What kind of Marxist spy ARE you??? Get your game up.

Red Skew - Sorry man, I've been corrupted by the west with Weed, White Women and sunny Weather!! DAS KAPITAL save me!

MRasheed - hahahaha

I guess the turnover for that line of work WOULD be pretty high...

Red Skew - Yeah, Marxist spy isn't the most lucrative career.

MRasheed - Marxist Handler: "And you, Comrade, will be assigned duty in Los Angeles, CA."

Red Skew: "YES!"

Red Skew: "I mean... I will do my best, comrade."


Red Skew - Exactly.

MRasheed - lol

Red Skew - Well sir. I am off to bed. I'll chat with you later.

***LATER***

MRasheed - Are you Karl's friend yet?

Don't lie to me or I'll know.

Red Skew - Yes, we are friends. Now what was it I was supposed to cut and paste for you?

MRasheed - Look in his thread, and steal for me the comments that JR posted.

MRasheed - Don't get caught.

Red Skew - Well, I thought we were friends, but he evidently hasn't approved me yet because I dont see him on my friends list.

MRasheed - What???

Your intelligence agent skills leave much to be desired.

Red Skew - Yeah, I'm a pointy head intellectual.

MRasheed - I see that I'm going to have to find myself a new Marxist spy.

You'll have to die now, of course.

Red Skew - I'll betray my Marxist brethren for a few gold pieces. If its good enough for Judas, its good enough for me.

MRasheed - You can't even get me the info I need.

At least Judas' mission was successful.

Red Skew - Yeah, but as a good capitalist wannabe I'm going to keep you on the hook by slowly releasing information.

MRasheed - Notice that so far you haven't given me a single word of the data I asked for.

Red Skew - Yes, but I'm selling you the dream.

MRasheed - I don't think we interpret "slowly releasing information" the same way...

Red Skew - Of course not, but that's the way of the spy game.

Haven't you seen James Bond?

MRasheed - Meh. Maybe.

So let me see... You've failed your spy mission, and you reference a film franchise as your point of training manual.

You know that makes you the Lionel Hutz of Marxist spies, right?

Red Skew - Ha!

Better than the Lou Costello of Marxist spies.

MRasheed - Now I have to find a new spy. Who else was in that thread...?

MRasheed - You couldn't even get in the thread, I KNOW you don't know who was in it. #worstSpyEver

I would ask Karl himself, but he can be kind of strict sometimes, and is probably one-half scandal away from deleting me...

Ah! Jeremy is in there! Very good. He works cheap.

MRasheed - *dials spy phone*

Red Skew - Of course Jeremy works cheap, he's a Bat boy.

MRasheed - Exactly. And I can probably get him to ice pick kill a couple of people before he leaves. Jeremy doesn't care.

Sh! It’s ringing...

Red Skew - Derp.

Red Skew - Well, I’m off to watch a little Television before bed. Take it easy brother Mo.

MRasheed - *sends assassins*
__________________

MRasheed - Jeremy!! Are you awake? I need your spy skills.

MRasheed - Jeremy? Wake up!!!

MRasheed - I require information for reasons most nefarious! Only your skills can accomplish this. Red Skew failed me miserably.

MRasheed - *hangs up*

MRasheed - *sends assassins*
____________

MRasheed - Toddfather! I need your spy skills! Are you game?

Are you awake?

[eyes narrow]
____________




MRasheed - Ishmiel!! Are you awake?

Ishmiel - Lol yea

I shouldn't be

MRasheed - Great! Are you FB Friends with Karl Eburne?

Ishmiel - Maybe

MRasheed – lol I need a "yes or no."

Ishmiel - Nope

MRasheed - Bah!!!

Ishmiel - Lol

MRasheed - >:(

Ishmiel - Should I be?

I think ive seen his name before..

MRasheed - Well... probably not, or I would've had to kill you if you failed this mission.

Anyway! Have a good night!

*click*
*dial tone*


Ishmiel - Lol ooooook

Ishmiel - [calls me back] What he do?

MRasheed - To be clear: I would've had to kill you because you would've known too much.

Ishmiel - You really feel like coming out here to snuff me. Nah

MRasheed - Heck no. I have a crack team of crackhead assassins on crack to do my light work.

They are very motivated.

Ishmiel - Im gonna take myself to bed to dream of young ladies and avoid crack ass ass ins

MRasheed - lol

Very well.

Good night!

Ishmiel - Night ill hit u up tomorrow




MRasheed - Hey, are you FB Friends with Karl Eburne by chance?

Scooter Alvarez - Nope why? We have mutual friends

MRasheed - I need a spy mission completed. Good spies are hard to come by it turns out.

Primarily because they're all asleep now, I guess. Lame ass spies.

Scooter Alvarez - You screenshots? Ok

MRasheed - Hm? No, I needed some info captured from a person who has blocked me.

Scooter Alvarez - Well, they probably blocked me too LOL

MRasheed - Hmmm... I seem to have successfully recruited an old nemesis of yours for this mission.

Scooter Alvarez - Ew who?

MRasheed - From The Order of Hotep.

Scooter Alvarez - Oh Gawd

MRasheed – lol @ "Ew who?"

Scooter Alvarez - There's so many LOL

MRasheed - I don't know how serious you all's eBeef was so I'm curious as to the audience reaction.

Because I'm a shit stirrer, I guess. *shrug*

C'est le vie!

MRasheed - The worst part of being the mastermind of a spy ring is the waiting. FYI

MRasheed - Your nemesis failed to negotiate the first hurdle. I was forced to destroy him.





MRasheed - Kenjii!! Are you FB Friends with Karl Eburne?

(why do these people go to bed so damn early?)

MRasheed - KENJII! Awaken! I require your spy skills!

MRasheed - Bah!!

Kenjji - Maybe but I dont know who that is

Ok yes but dont really know him wussup

MRasheed - There's this one thread he made that I need some information extracted for me.

Kenjji - Subject of thread

MRasheed – [Karl Eburne - dossier]

MRasheed - I need the posts that were written by "JR."

He is now invisible to me because of a "blocking episode" from way back.

Please copy-paste his comment[s] into this PM.

Kenjji - It won't let me access the thread

MRasheed
- Dammit.

MRasheed - Abort.

MRasheed - *sends assassins*





MRasheed - Deacon!! I require your Marxist spy skills post haste!!

Do you accept this mission? yes or no?

Deacon - No

MRasheed - OH, COME ON!!!

Deacon - maybe

elaborate

MRasheed - I was blocked by fellow ex-HeroTalker "JR" a while back, but I require the stealing of his posts so that I may read them. The posts are located in the lair of a certain "Karl Eburne." Your mission...

...should you choose to accept it...

...is to copy/paste these JR posts into this very PM.

Failure is not an option. You are not to be seen or caught.

Deacon[Deacon’s Personal Lockpicking Kit: Marxist Spy Edition]


MRasheed - What's all of this then...?

MRasheed - That's not what he posted!

Deacon - Sign in as me and spy to your heart's content

Deacon - just don't post under my name

MRasheed – Oh.

lol

Okay.

Thanks!

Deacon - It just made me change my Spy Code.....

It's now *******.

MRasheed - Deacon, I can't! It's asking for all kinds of personal security questions because of the alien IP Address! "Who is your Lord & Savior?" How am I supposed to know????

Do this spy mission for me, please, and I promise to be nicer.

MRasheed - Please?

Deacon - What thread are you interested in?

MRasheed - It's in here: [Karl Eburne - dossier]

MRasheed - Remember! Posts by JR.

DON'T GET CAUGHT!

Deacon - He's deleted the thread.

Deacon - The page you requested cannot be displayed right now. It may be temporarily unavailable, the link you clicked on may have expired, or you may not have permission to view this page.

MRasheed - Karl isn't in your Friend List...?

Deacon - No...Ask Jeremy....He liked one of his comments.

MRasheed - Jeremy is either sleep or dead. My spies haven't confirmed which yet.

Okay. Well, thanks anyway.

MRasheed - *sends assassins*

Deacon - Remember you promised to be nice

And don't give out my Spy Kit.

MRasheed - (hmmm... what's the code to counter the "No weapon formed against me will prosper" charm...?)

Ah!

Good night, Deac!

(heh heh heh)

Deacon - Shalom

MRasheed - Peace. :)




MRasheed[hears noise on roof]

Jeremy611 - What, fool-assed fool?!

Jeremy611 - What are you going on about now?!

MRasheed - I see you have survived the assassins.

Impressive.

MRasheed - I'll give you another chance at this delicate mission.

Jeremy611 - Speak, fool!

MRasheed – Read this: [Karl Eburne - dossier]

Go into this thread and extract some information for me.

The one called "JR" blocked me some time ago and has become invisible. Your mission...

...should you choose to accept it...

...is to copy/paste/send his post[s] into a PM.

Jeremy611 - OK, here goes...




MRasheed - Excellent. Be careful. Do not get caught.
Jeremy611 - He must have deleted his posts because I cannot see them either.

MRasheed - Are you also blocked? This was my only clue of his presence… [Michael Contreras wrote: "J.R.'s points are valid."]

Jeremy611 - I remember that JR posted something, I don't remember what it was, but I did see it before. Therefore, he must have deleted his comments because he had no reason to block me, everyone loves me.

MRasheed - I see. He's even sneakier than I thought. Very well.

I didn't get what I was after, but you at least followed the mission to the end of the trail, making you a superior spy to all of your peers.

*wires $15,000.00 to jeremy611's account*

MRasheed - I'll be in touch.

Jeremy611 - Yay!



MRasheed - *answers ringing spy phone*

The Toddfather - I am awake now...S'up? 

MRasheed - Do you remember that thread from Karl Eburne?

The Toddfather - Saw it but didn't get a chance to read it...

MRasheed - It's okay. The info I was trying to get you to retrieve has been deleted.

The Toddfather - Ah...fighting some Facebook Battles Bro???

MRasheed - No, just some international data trafficking. lol

The Toddfather - Ha!!!! Even better...LOL!!

MRasheed - This particular person blocked me a while ago, and I wanted to see what he said. I wouldn't have known he had posted in the thread if someone hadn't talked to him directly in it.

But alas. He removed what he said. [eyes narrow]

Eventually he'll make a mistake. Get sloppy.

And I'll be there.

The Toddfather - LMFAO!!!!



See Also:  Artifacts of the Black Superheroes

2 comments:

  1. Uhhh....I actually came to the same conclusion before Jeremy. Where's my accolades and $15,000?

    Deac

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Noooo... You said the whole thread had been deleted, meanwhile it's still up now. You failed to get past the first hurdle by even trying to friend Karl Eburne. tsk And now you want free money.

      At least you have the marxist part of the spy business down pat. smh

      Delete